Alfie's Diary Archive

What is the point in buying a new pair of glasses if you are then going to spend most of your time wearing the old […]

I’ve cut my chin. When my mistress asked me how I had done it I tried suggesting I was shaving but she didn’t seem to […]

I don’t feel so bad as it was more a ‘writers half a group’ yesterday, with members having been called away at the last minute […]

Now having a bar b q for everyone who lives on the road might be a great idea, but why was I only taken along […]

I need to spend the day reinforcing my defences. The moles are now approaching on all sides. They have nearly made it as far as […]

It’s official – they’re weird. Apart from the cow hide rug it seems my master has bought my mistress a table for her birthday. Not […]

Well by the time my mistress did open her presents and cards yesterday all I can say is there are a lot of people out […]

It would appear that I am qualified for a profession after all. I am a natural psychologist and counsellor. It’s amazing how often, when I […]

Well we are back to normal, our sort of normal anyway. It is hard to think of life as normal where it is permanently lived […]

What were they thinking? Bank Holiday Monday on the roads of England, not the brightest idea my owners have had. It seems that the whole […]