Alfie's Diary Archive

I don’t think my mistress has quite got the hang of youth culture. She got a text from James in response to one she sent […]

It was going to happen sooner or later. My master missed his plane yesterday. It didn’t matter that we pointed out to him that he […]

I am so excited as Granny and Grandpa arrive today. They are coming by train and my mistress has to go and pick them up […]

Now I am worried. The first applicants interested in joining the PDDP are a cat and a working dog. I was just getting the outline […]

Never mind rights to freedom right now I think I will campaign for a central heating system that actually works or fires in more rooms […]

For the purpose of what I am about to tell you all parties will remain nameless to protect the innocent and not so innocent alike. […]

After dropping her phone for the umpteenth time my mistress was left with little alternative but to buy a new one. She said she isn’t […]

I am still finding it difficult to understand how a trip to a big shop called Ikea to buy a desk could possible lead to […]

I have heard some potentially good news. Apparently moles are supposed to hibernate for the winter. No one could tell me whether they just fall […]

A new type of missile is being hurled at us by the trees as we go for a walk. My mistress says these are conkers […]