Alfie's Diary Archive

That will teach her not to blame me for everything. To be fair the first rug that went through the wash was because I had […]

It’s all my sister’s fault. Just because she doesn’t weigh as much as I do, it’s hardly my fault. For a start I’m a boy […]

My sister is scary. You may think the same about your sister but I’m sure mine is scarier. There is only one of my sisters […]

It really wasn’t playing fair. My mistress changed the sheets on her bed, something to do with mud and dog hair! When she had finished […]

There is was gone, the heating that is. It went off again then it was on, then it was off. Now we are going to […]

Only our moles could dig through the permafrost that is our garden. They must be out there wrapped up in their moleskin coats, (or do […]

I forgot to wish my grandpa a happy 82nd birthday yesterday. That would be awfully old in dog years. I make him about 574 in […]

I have worked out what the moles have been doing. They are clearly digging to keep warm. They are workaholic moles who don’t like hibernating, […]

I’m not bitter that I won’t be seeing the Eiffel Tower. I am not disappointed that I won’t get to visit the Louvre. I will […]

I am starting to thing that my master is just a mirage who passes through occasionally. Maybe he is a figment of my imagination. Worse, […]