Friday 20th October 2006

There was my mistress getting dressed this morning and I noticed the big bruise on her leg that is now fading. ‘That looks exactly the shape of a paw print’ I said and laughed. I realised she hadn’t joined in the laugh so I asked if there was any chance it had been caused by a paw and she nodded. I then asked if there was any chance it was caused by a different dog than me and she shook her head, so I gave her a big hug and said sorry. I really must try to be less boisterous. I didn’t like to ask how many of the other bruises I had caused.

Where do dogs stand with regard to the Bible? I know we don’t go in for all that marriage stuff but I am not sure where we stand on the whole God thing. You would think given the closeness of God to dog as a word that it would have been us he made in His image really but I suppose I had better be careful not to cause offence to anyone. I was most concerned with regard to the whole ‘coveting’ thing. I am not bothered about my neighbour’s ass but is it ok for me to covet my mistress’s pork chop? If it isn’t, then yesterday I sinned and need to repent. The day before it was the chicken and I am sure it will be something else again later. My flesh is weak, I’m only a puppy. I wonder what the punishment would be?

I think for my career apart from running my political party I would like to run a bookshop. I can only describe being surrounded by books as the equivalent of a hippopotamus wallowing in mud. It is wonderful to go and leaf through and see what you don’t know. Just sniffing them is half the fun.