Friday 6th October 2006

Today is officially stitch removal day. I am thinking of going into hiding to try and avoid it and had wondered about trying to do it myself. Unfortunately my mistress has put the little gadget they gave her to remove the stitches in her purse so unless I just yank them or try and use scissors I guess I am stuck.

My mistress has at last decided to defrost and eat the frozen together block of steaks. She was trying to make sure there was enough time to eat them all before they went off. I was like the donkey in Shrek ‘ Pick me, pick me.’ Or more to the point ‘I’ll help eat them, I’ll help eat them’ as I bounced up and down. I am not sure if my appeals have fallen on deaf ears or whether I might just get included.

Whilst my master was away last week there was an unmistakeable rustling sound coming from the mainly empty log basket. My mistress, by her own admission, is a coward. She started to imagine all sorts of things inside, moving around in the bits of wood or maybe eating the wood. She wouldn’t move the basket in case something horrible came out. She told my master when he came home and he immediately moved the basket. My mistress was quite ready to run away in case something came running out. What do you think he found? Nothing. Absolutely nothing! Just some bits of wood. She doesn’t even want to be there when they light the first fire of the winter in case there are any creepy crawlys in the fire place that come rushing out. She has spoilt my plan to bring back a little bit of kindling every day from the forest and be thought a ‘good dog’. She bought a whole bag of it from the supermarket for €2 and when I looked all disappointed explained that to get a fire to light it had to be dry and the wood in the forest would be wet. If I started getting it now it would dry out eventually!