Monday 11th April 2016 – Hi I’m Wilma and I’m not choosy

If we can't mate - can we play tug?
If we can’t mate – can we play tug?

Hi I’m Wilma and I’d like to mate with you. To be honest any one of you would do. My hormones have just got all too much for me and I really don’t mind who you are. You could be a Pug or a Doberman, a mongrel or a Great Dane – I really don’t mind. To be fair things are starting to calm down a little today but yesterday it was a nightmare. If I had had my choice I would definitely have mated with Alfie yesterday and I really didn’t understand why he was finding it so difficult. Isn’t it every dog’s dream to have a girl tell them how wonderful they are? Even Aristotle resorted to hiding behind our Mistress in the office so I couldn’t keep jumping on him when he wasn’t expecting it. Mum has made a note that day 13 seems to be my best day this time around and she will keep a record each time so she knows when to take me to see whoever my first boyfriend will be in a couple of years. Until then apparently I just have to live with the frustration and try not to unnerve Alfie and Aristotle too much. The only good thing is that I don’t really need my pants on anymore and that is a big relief. It just isn’t dog enough to go round wearing a pair of pants. I’m looking forward to being able to go out for a walk again, but Mum says we are still a few days away from that one. She says Alfie will tell her when it’s ok. He’s good like that.

Meanwhile Mum is on a diet. She has bought a dress to wear for a wedding that needs her to lost a few pounds first. She is not totally stupid the shop has a good returns policy so if she hasn’t lost the weight within three weeks she can change it for one that fits her more rotund shape!

You can find short stories to read at

Alfie’s Diary – the Book as well as our other books are available HERE


  1. Hahahaha, Wilma, you’re so funny! But I well remember how hard it was for our Boxer, Gretel, when it was her season, and how hard it was to keep her in, or walk her in a ‘safe’ way, while keeping her apart from her love and housemate, Hans – all those years ago, in Kenya. Hans was a lazy dog, but the only time he ever jumped out of a window, ever, was to get outside when I was walking her!

    • Oh it’s so hard for a poor girl when the boys won’t cooperate. I’ve peed all round the garden to let the world know I’m here, but Alfie and Shadow have been going round after me trying to cover my scent. Still, another bowl of water to drink and I’ll be off again.
      Love Wilma

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