My Mistress produced some posters for the dog show we are having as part of the village fun day. If the printer cartridge hadn’t been running out, they would have looked quite good – with just one small detail missing (two if we’re counting strictly accurately). She had forgotten to say the place it was happening or the date. I don’t know many dogs who keep a diary, but even if they did, without those pieces of information I think they might have had some difficulty turning up. She has now reprinted them, although the cartridge is still running out so she can’t see them in all their glory. Given that my Mistress is organising it, I don’t expect that I will have the opportunity to take part. I do have the satisfaction of knowing I can wag my tail incessantly when necessary, although I wouldn’t have stooped as low as entering ‘best trick’ and looked nothing more than a circus animal. My Mistress asked me not to say that bit, in case it put off prospective entrants. I don’t suppose it will make much difference. It’s the same with humans, some of them like the showbiz limelight and enter things like ‘Britain’s got talent’, some sit at home and watch it, and some sit at home and ridicule the whole thing. It isn’t that I’m jealous of a dog that can stand on two legs, or shake paws, it’s just that I think it’s demeaning to do such things on command. Oh they can bribe me with a treat, they can spoil me with affection and yes I’m a simple dog and I respond before I really think about it, but lying here writing this, it’s the principle of it that I’m thinking of and ‘best trick’ on command by a human just doesn’t seem like the sort of thing any self-respecting dog should take part in, unless he or she is being paid.
Alfie Dog with a little help from Rosemary J Kind alfie@alfiedog.me.uk