Monday 13th June 2011 – I will never understand women

My Mistress has realised she is still going to be around to go to a dinner on Friday night and doesn’t have a thing to wear. I took her upstairs and opened the wardrobe and asked her what was inside it. It turns out that the dresses that are hanging up in some way don’t come into consideration. I will never understand women, or humans for that matter. Why would they call an event black tie when what they really mean is dinner jacket with a bow tie of any colour? After she had looked at lots of shops on their internet pages and concluded she wasn’t so keen on what they had in store, my Mistress decided that she will have to choose one of the things in the wardrobe that doesn’t exist. When she comes back from my grandparents she said she will try them on and could I tell her which looks best. Has she completely lost the plot? In case she hasn’t noticed, I’m a dog. What do I know? While has been out I’ve been having a quick look to see if any of them have bone patterns on them, but as far as I can see they are all relatively boring from my perspective. When I suggested she needed to wear one in which she would be warm enough, she groaned and said she may as well ask my Master.

My Master is thinking of offering to help out with the volunteers who work on a big steam train. My Mistress thought is sounded an excellent idea and he would enjoy it. I’m just hoping it might lead to me having the opportunity to ride up front in the driving compartment and get soot in my fur. My Mistress likes things like that, so I thought it would be good to give it a go and find out why she thinks it’s so special.

Alfie Dog with a little help from Rosemary J Kind