Wednesday 22nd December 2010

You should never let my Master anywhere near DIY. I think it’s one of these cry for help type things or maybe just a dislike that makes him take an alternative approach in the hope that he won’t be asked again. There is a reason that my Mistress is the one who normally undertakes DIY and the origin goes back over twenty years to the time my Master insisted on helping to plumb a washing machine and flooded her kitchen. He is one of two men who has insisted on doing that job over the years and both occasions my Mistress has had to resort to the mop and bucket. I would like to stress at this point that my Mistress is perfectly capable of plumbing a washing machine and the ‘help’ she was given on both of those occasions might have been misguided. Anyway, back to the problem in paw. We have a blocked sink and my Mistress was busy so she asked my Master to take a look. She had already poured sink unblocker down the plughole but it hadn’t actually gone anywhere. The blockage was the only problem, at least when he started. By the time he had finished there were tiles which needed replacing on the wall, a sink which needs reattaching to the wall, a lump of plaster which needs replacing in the ceiling below and the sink is still blocked. I don’t have opposable thumbs, but I would probably have made less mess than that!

Worryingly, my Mistress has to go out and leave my Master in charge of accepting the Tesco’s order. She has tried to give him careful instructions on what can be substituted if they haven’t got the exact thing she has asked for, but she will be worrying until she gets home and sorts it all out.