Sunday 27th June 2010

I should start by warning you that today’s rambling is not for the easily shocked. I’m going to write about sex and the castrated dog.

I am in a state of torture. For health reasons, I had all my bits removed before I was a year old and until now it hasn’t really been an issue. Shadow is a lovely girl dog, but she hasn’t really aroused my passions mainly through familiarity (she’s usually a complete nuisance), but also because she was only a puppy. Dear reader, she is now most definitely an adult. She started her season about eleven days ago and yesterday she reached the crucial point where she’s willing to flirt with anything with four legs. I being the only one to fit the bill, she was shamelessly sticking her bottom right into my face at every opportunity. What is a poor dog to do? Oh I played tug with her and had a game of chase but she wasn’t satisfied with that. Then we had a bit of a roll in the grass and before I knew what I was doing I had my paws round her waist and was humping for all I’m worth. It was all rather futile as I can’t actually achieve anything so there was no actual contact, but oh the thoughts in my head. I am ashamed of them. My Mistress caught us and gave me a severe talking to, but it didn’t stop us trying again at the next moment that her back was turned. The only comfort that my Mistress took in all of it is that if that is how she feels about me then just maybe if she can make arrangements to take Shadow to my half brother in Switzerland in a year’s time then she might feel that way about him too. My Mistress has dreams of seeing my line continue at least indirectly if not directly and apparently he does look very like me. I think we both take after our dad.

In the end my Mistress wouldn’t leave us alone together unsupervised. It was a very tiring day, I can tell you.