Friday 6th November 2009

I feel as though I should be saying something profound today, but frankly am finding it difficult to muster the energy. I couldn’t even raise an eyebrow at the fact that a bonfire in Kent is burning a 27 foot effigy of Katie Price (Jordan). It made me start wondering who I might nominate to be burnt at the stake, at least in effigy form. It seemed to obvious to say that Nick Griffin would be first, and agreeing with Kent bonfire, he doesn’t deserve any more publicity. We spend house discussing who might have been the greatest Briton in history, but who should we nominate to be burnt on the bonfire other than Guy Fawkes? When it came down to it, I would like to burn the Jack Russell that attacked me when I was a puppy, but other than that I don’t really go in for disliking people.

It would be easier to think of companies we might want to vilify than particular individuals. The latest for my Mistress would be all the fireplace companies that will only fit a fireplace they have sold to you and not one you’ve bought elsewhere. They seem to have developed a cartel covering all fitting of fireplaces between them, leaving a rather hilly playing field if you want a different type of fireplace to the ones they sell. While we are on companies, it would be good to have a section for all those companies who think it’s too difficult to do what the customer actually wants and offer a ‘take it or leave it’ sort of service, which is no use to anyone. I suppose it isn’t so much fun to burn a faceless bureaucrat but they would make good targets of revenge. Then there is any company that makes you sit in a queue and by the time you get to speak to someone, they manage to cut you off. I could keep going in this subject for hours.