Saturday 7th November 2009

You’ve got to worry when someone has found the time to go back and read 542 different days of my diary in the first four days of this month. I’m delighted you’re here, but have you nothing better to do with your life than live vicariously through an affable dog. (I’m in a soft cuddly mood today. I didn’t feel like describing myself as fearsome. Actually I was in the sort of mood to spend the whole day in bed, but the family insisted on getting up and I hate to be left there on my own.)

Anyway, here are a few suggestions of things you could be doing with your time instead of sitting at your computer reading about my life. You could borrow a friend’s dog and take it for a nice long walk. I’m sure it would like a game of fetch in the park while you are at it. Better still, you could go to the dog’s home and take one or more home with you and give them a happier life than they might have had otherwise, one with all the comforts of home and a little pampering along the way. If you do this, make sure it isn’t one of those horrible yappy things that give us a bad name. If you’re going to have a dog, you want it to be a real one. Another thought would be simply to go to the park with a few dog treats and spoil other people’s dogs. Obviously if you do this one, you have to be certain that no one thinks you are trying to kidnap their prized pooch, although it is less frowned on that taking sweets and giving them out to small children. Basically, what I’m saying is get out there and live a little.