Sunday 26th July 2009

I have been thinking about the whole question of the movement of labour and levels of wages and it strikes me that there is another perspective. I may have been barking up the wrong tree wanting the minimum wage to apply to dogs. If dogs were to rise up and offer to do jobs at a lower rate than their human counterparts then we could progress through the ranks more quickly than if we try to compete on even terms. If for example a dog were to apply for a job as a school teacher, but offer to do it at a fraction of the price of a human, then we might soon find whole schools going to the dogs. Dogs would make good lollipop people, helping young children to cross the road. There are some roles that people may have an issue with finding a dog doing. I’d have to agree that there might be some key hygiene factors missing if dogs were to take over the medical services. You would need new notices. In addition to the signs reminding people to wash their hands, they might need some to remind the medical staff that it isn’t the done thing to break off in the middle of treatment to have a good scratch or worse, to lick those unmentionable places. If we weren’t careful, MRSA would be the least of the worries. However, let’s look at the positives. Most diseases do not pass between dogs and humans, so we could take care of you without getting sick ourselves.

So I’m thinking that maybe the way to get on, for dogs anyway, is to compete on price. I don’t propose we go as far as working for scraps. That is pure exploitation. However, our needs are meagre compared to most humans. All we need now is a thirst for power.