Monday 15th December 2008

I think it’s cheating. If you are going to serve up deserts at mealtimes the least you can do is make them yourself. Have some sympathy for the family dog. If you don’t do cooking and make a mess, there are fewer crumbs for me to lick up. What was my Mistress thinking of ordering all the deserts to be made by the pub? OK, so it’s an award winning pub and they will taste a lot better then anything my Mistress could make, but what about me? How can I beg for scraps when there are no scraps? It’s a sad day when there aren’t enough scraps to be had.

In my attempt to rewrite carols to ensure they all include a dog I have started with “We three kings of orient are”. I got stuck just there. We three kings of orient are what? It isn’t a sentence. There seems to be a bit missing. Should it be ‘we three kings of orient are lost on our way to find Jesus’ or ‘we three kings of orient are a long way from home’? Just because ‘are’ rhymes with ‘afar’ and ‘star’ doesn’t make it a good word to finish the line with. I’m putting the puppy in instead of Frankincense. That verse will now read:

‘Cute puppy to offer to you

Always happy with a dog chew

Dog to nuzzle, keep you safely

Watching you as you grew

Oh star of wonder, star of night…,’

Now I know that it should be ‘grow’ and not ‘grew’, but if you can finish a line on ‘are’ then I can have ‘grew’. You just try singing it to the tune and see if I’m right.