Wednesday 24th September 2008

My Mistress’s imagination knows no bounds. Her latest brainwave is to build a model railway round the garden. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve no more objection to turning my paw to driving a steam train than the next dog, but she hasn’t got enough time for all her other hair-brained schemes without adding another one to the list. I think my main objection is that in the absence of being able to buy the piece of land opposite our house, I thought people might want to pay me to plant trees in our garden for them. Admittedly they may need to be slightly smaller than oak trees, although that is my ideal due to my love of eating acorns. I could be the first dog with a carbon neutral house, or better still carbon negative. I wonder whether I could win any awards for that. I stand a better chance of getting a rosette for that than I do for obedience.

My Master took me to dog training this week and came home to inform my Mistress that I did not deserve a pat and a cuddle as I had been a very naughty dog. No one would believe him when he said I didn’t behave like this at home. The problem was that there were lots of new dogs there and I got a bit excited. I suppose I don’t take my Master seriously either, he’s more a playmate than a boss, quite apart from which he didn’t bribe me with as many treats as my Mistress and as you well know, every dog has his price and mine was just higher than my Master was offering!