Monday 7th July 2008

I have been thinking of the whole question of dog breeding. I suggest that if you’re of a sensitive disposition you maybe skip the next bit, although I promise not to get too graphic in my writing. It’s just that I’ve been thinking about all the effort that’s put into breeding dogs. Do humans really have so little faith in our ability to work out how to procreate? Do you see dogs intervening in the process of creating more humans? Do we say that humans should be tested for temperament and if they aren’t nice enough then they shouldn’t be allowed to breed? Many of you may be thinking it’s a good job we can’t, as frankly looking round at some of the humans I come across they really aren’t nice enough people to be allowed to have children.

Then there’s the whole question of pure bred and mongrel. For the most part humans are mongrels. If they trace their family trees back a few generations there are very few that can’t find a mixture of nationalities making up their stock. Of course that doesn’t stop a load of twaddle and prejudice proving exactly why humans should be tested for temperament before breeding is allowed. Humans aren’t neutered because their owners don’t think they should be allowed to have children.

And don’t even get me started on ‘in-breeding’. How closely have you looked at your ancestry recently?

Was it my fault that I had an undescended testicle? Did anyone ask if I wanted puppies before booking me in for the operation? I may just be feeling sad that with all the talk of puppies in the household, I can’t have any of my own. I’m just looking forward to the chance to be a surrogate dad and pass on all the wisdom I’ve accumulated over the last couple of years.