I came back from the kennels yesterday with pretty bad wind. My Mistress asked what I had been eating and I said “Honestly? You really want to know?” She shrugged and concluded that with me being a dog, on balance she might be happier being ignorant on this specific point. I had quite a nice time in kennels in spite of, or possibly because of the strange things I found to eat. Never the less I was as always happy to be home. Then my Mistress spoilt it by putting my bed through the washing machine!
I did get my own back on my Mistress later on yesterday. It was dog training and to say I misbehaved would be an understatement. My behaviour was abysmal. There was as always the issue of wanting to get to wherever Barney was but then there was the ‘damp grass factor’. My Mistress should know my now that I will not now or at any time in the future be persuaded to plant my delicate little bottom down on wet grass. Then she tried to take the whole initiative a step further by insisting I lie down in it. Would she? Can you really imagine her resting her chin on a sodden dandelion? Well I take this equality thing very seriously and if it isn’t all right for her, then it is most certainly now ok for me either. At one point I was behaving so badly that I think if she had thought that her lying down on wet grass would have made any difference, then she’d have done it. I did get bored with being bad towards the end of class and settled down a bit. Then the made us change over so we looked after a different human than the one we brought. That threw me. I had to keep looking over my shoulder to check my Mistress was ok and that the other dogs weren’t giving her trouble.