Saturday 28th June 2008

Apparently George Bush is looking for someone to ghost-write his autobiography. I was wondering whether he would consider a dog taking on the task. I may not sympathise with many of his views but I’m sure I could write his story dispassionately. There might be one or two bits I’d gloss over and other bits I wouldn’t be able to resist expressing an opinion on but surely it’s got to be an additional sales point for him to consider, having a dog do the writing. I wonder whether he would take me seriously if I wrote to him. Do you think it would be too familiar to start my letter with ‘Dear George’?

I have been watching my ‘little tent of blue’ through the bars of my cell and noticed that it is more often a little tent of grey. However, whilst grey doesn’t leave me feeling quite as cheerful as a bright blue sky would, it has been fun trying to work out all the pictures that he shapes of the clouds make. I’ll swear I saw a warrior in a chariot earlier. I thought he was coming to rescue me but in the end he blew over to be replaced by a fire breathing rabbit. I decided I’d rather not mess with him and on balance would prefer to stay in my cell.

I have been making some notes for the ‘prison epic’ that I’m planning to write. I’m going home in a couple of days so it may have to be a relatively short epic. I suppose the alternative is to write all the notes about my incarceration and then write it as a free dog when I’m on the outside. What I am disappointed about is that here I am stuck in a cell and despite the fact that I’ve told you about it, none of you have mounted a rescue mission to get me out.