Friday 20th June 2008

In her defence she didn’t mean to do it. She was just pulling out of the drive in her car when the boys next door managed to kick their ball over the fence and into the road itself. Well sadly My Mistress accidentally ran over it. She was trying to miss it and you would think on balance the chances were pretty good, she only had four wheels to get past it, but no, she drove right over it and there was a pathetic popping sound from just under the wheel. I’m not sure whether she has had the courage to admit it yet, so maybe I wasn’t supposed to mention it. She claims to have apologised but I may have been too busy arguing with Hugo at the time to hear her.

I think I may need to have a quiet word with my Master. The sweet oatcakes, or McOaties as they have become known, that my Mistress makes, on an all too regular basis, are becoming more and more alcoholic in content. She tells me that the alcohol evaporates in cooking and all I can say it that that is a very good job! If it didn’t she’d be under the influence from ‘elevenses’ onwards! Even then elevenses sometimes occurs before the ascribed hour. To be quite frank, we’re both starting to look a bit oat cake shaped around the middle and that can’t be a good thing. I only eat them to keep her company. It would be rude to make her eat them alone. I also work on the basis that it is crazy for her to get the dustpan and brush out to clean the oats she spills off the floor. It’s never too much trouble to help out in these domestic situations.