Saturday 8th December 2007

It turns out that my mistress is trying to start a forest in the lounge. My first thought was “At last she has caved in to my request for an inside toilet.” My second thought was “she’s going to an awful lot of trouble to decorate an inside loo for me”. But alas I find the chocolate shapes and tinsel have not been provided for me and I am under sufferance of very serious consequences if I so much as consider peeing on the Christmas tree. “What if I just nibble one or two branches?” I asked, but it seems that that is out as well. This tree is just for looking at, what a waste, it could have stayed outside and been looked at there. Admittedly, the baubles would have got a bit wet and there aren’t any sockets to plug the lights in to but looking on the bright side, no one would have had to listen to the tinny little tunes that the lights play incessantly.

As it seems Christmas cannot be avoided in this house I am now trying to work out how to get the best out of it. There are the obvious ways like making sure I am kept fully appraised of all food stuffs entering the house and offering myself as official taster to the family. Then there are the more subtle ways, such as watching carefully as my mistress wraps the presents and then switching the tags so that I get the best ones. It is very important not to get this one wrong as it would be a dreadful shame to end up with a pair of socks when I’ve got four feet. It’s the train set I’m really after, but as it is for my master and mistress together, I’m guessing they might notice if they end up with a ‘dog rug’ for the car instead.