Sunday 9th December 2007

When you live in a country that basically sits at sea level, waterlogged is the term you use to describe the dry ground. When it rains as much as it has been doing the last few days and you are made to go out for a walk, it isn’t just your paws that need wiping when you get back! You get mud right up over your ankles, your knees, your tummy and if you are really unlucky…, well lets just say it gets everywhere. The only good side is it means you can then make lovely patterns in mud with your paws and whole body shapes on the duvet cover. It’s even worth the being shouted at later when your mistress finds out!

How am I supposed to resist the chocolate decorations on the tree that have been hung at ‘Alfie height’? My mistress said that those ones were intended to be at ‘Andrew height’ so that he can find some, but to be honest ‘Andrew height’ and ‘Alfie height’ are much the same thing. He can reach up a little higher now than I can, I tend to overbalance if I stand on my back legs for too long. It’s all very well telling me ‘I can sniff but I had better not touch’ but doesn’t my mistress realise that is getting very close to cruelty to dogs? I don’t want to sniff, I want to eat. I’m not going to bother with the candy canes, I got the plastic wrapping between my teeth, but I am prepared to try to overcome the silver paper to get to the chocolate. I can only think my mistress has lost all sanity, putting chocolates within reach of a dog on a diet. I know what your thinking, if I could learn to resist things like this I wouldn’t be on a diet, but my argument is that I’m naturally big boned and am not fat at all!