My master has excelled himself. He wonders why I write about him so often but to be honest I think it speaks for itself! My precious little car, well my mistress’s but I like to think of it as mine, anyway, my precious little car has had its nose ‘rearranged’. At this point you think ‘Oh no. Has he had an accident? Is he all right?’ Well needless to say it isn’t my master you need to be concerned about, unless he had been attacked by a flying carrot he will be just fine. The poor little car hadn’t even left the garage when he managed to drive it, with what appears a certain amount of force, into the vegetable rack. There may also have been some bottle waiting to go to the bottle bank, a wine rack and a pasting table involved in the accident, but apart from the vegetable rack it is definitely the car that has come off worst. He was not content to break a light, oh no, he has completely cracked the bumper in two and dented the bonnet. To say I am distraught is an understatement but even then I am doing very well compared to my mistress. She is not happy. Her little car is her pride and joy, second only to me in her affections. I am not sure quite where on the list my master comes but it is a bit lower than it was. So that will be all his pocket money gone for a few months to pay for the repairs, and as my mistress has warned him, it will be being done properly which is probably going to necessitate the front being re-sprayed to make sure it matches. As I said to him, you can never underestimate the effect of broccoli!