Friday 19th May 2006

Hedgehog (or should I say Harry?) has decided that calling on animals to try and repay them might be a bad idea so he has had some notices printed that say he is sorry and would any animal that was previously the victim of a crime he committed please come forward so that he can apologise in person, so to speak, and repay them as best he can. He is very nervous about what reaction he will get but really feels he has to show he means it. I think he is being very brave. He has also arranged a meeting with the Woodland Bank to go and discuss his role in the theft from them and subsequent money laundering. I hope he knows what he is doing.

My master and mistress have concluded that I am really not cut out to be a guard dog, which is good as I never saw myself in a rough ‘heavy’ sort of a role. Apparently it would be normal practice to at least give a little bark when someone walks past but I prefer to go and wag my tail and see if they will tell me what a lovely puppy I am. You may think I am being shallow and vain but I couldn’t possibly comment. We went to Bruges a couple of weeks ago and the best bit of that was all the people stopping and patting me and saying how beautiful I was, it almost made up for my master accidentally standing on my paw on three occasions. Once is an accident, twice is clumsy but by the third time I was starting to get a little annoyed. How would he like it if I kept standing on his feet? I have found a way to get my own back. When we go walking I have found if I climb down into the ditches they are no longer full of nice clean water, they are full of thick black mud. When I say black I mean ‘very black’ and when I say mud I mean the sort that after I have put my paws knee deep in makes the most fantastic paw prints on clean trousers! The only problem is that it then takes me hours to get them sparkling white again, my paws not the trousers!

My mistress has finally repaired my cushion. It was so good to have it back that I spent ages just chewing it and trying to rip it apart. It really is a very satisfying feeling, I can’t think why my mistress is so unimpressed. I then proceeded to swing it round and round but I accidentally let go and it flew up in the air and came down knocking a cd off the side. Fortunately it was only the cd case that was broken but the worst of it is that my cushion has now been confiscated so our reunion has been short lived.