Sunday 5th June 2011

My Mistress is taking a different approach to the plant pots and topping them off with boring ordinary soil in the hope to limit any further damage. My request for the destruction of only alternate ones was unsuccessful and my Mistress is now worried that Mrs blackbird will be telling her friends about where to come to get nesting material. I suggested we could just leave the bag of compost open and see if that satisfied her, but my Mistress seems to think it will just encourage more to come to us for their nesting material. It has all given me a money making idea. I could set up a little stall selling bits and piece for bird nesting. I’m not exactly sure how they would pay me, but I could sell all our spare twigs and, as long as my Mistress doesn’t see me, our compost.

We have discovered a problem with the summer house. In the winter it is too cold and in the summer it is too hot. I think that may mean that there are about eight days a year we can actually use it comfortably. My Mistress is having to remember to go down the garden and open it up before the temperature inside reaches 30 degrees. On the bright side it does mean she will get more wear out of her shorts but on the downside you should see the scratches on her legs where Megan forgot herself and jumped up. I suppose they just add to the overall effect of the black, green and blue bruises but altogether it looks as though my Mistress would be better not wearing shorts. She really needs body armour with three of us around. Either that or to stay well away from us, but I wouldn’t like that. I suppose I don’t bruise her so often these days, so the girls may grow out of it.

Alfie Dog with a little help from Rosemary J Kind