Tuesday 24th May 2011

I’ve been looking into this whole question of the end of the world. It seems there’s another way I could make some money out of the gullibility of the chosen few. I’m thinking I may need to move to America to make the most out of it, but the beauty of the internet is you can be anywhere in the world and no one is any the wiser. Anyway, there are people out there selling what are effectively insurance policies for the care of people’s pets, when they are ‘taken’ and you are tragically left behind. What it offers is a guarantee that in that situation you will be looked after. Think about it. What’s the worst that could happen? It could turn out to be true and I end up with 150 dogs as playmates. I guess the neighbours might be less than thrilled, but they may have been ‘taken’ anyway, so it might not be a bog deal. How much do you think I should charge for the service? I could make it seem attractive. Perhaps it is a payment of £50 up front and then a lump sum payment from their estate when they have gone to a better place. Some might consider such schemes to be unscrupulous, but hey I’m a dog, since when have I had to consider principles?

If you are reading, I would like to thank our visitors on Saturday. Ceri and Nick you are wonderful. When I was a puppy, I had a bone and I got through it very quickly and it made me poorly. I haven’t been bought a bone since. Anyway, you kindly bought us a bone which we have all been sharing. Shadow is lying on it at the moment! We have all had a good chew and no one has fought over it. I haven’t been ill. My Mistress has now said as it has been such a big success she will buy us another one sometime if we are good. I have to say it is worth being good for. She now needs to know where to buy one that is as good as the one you bought.

Alfie Dog with a little help from Rosemary J Kind alfie@alfiedog.me.uk