Thursday 13th August 2009

I have been thinking of ways to commit murder. I suppose as a dog the easiest way to kill someone would be to bite them, but that may be why there aren’t many murder stories where it is the dog that did it. For a start, the bite of a dog is quite distinctive from that of a human and that would start to point the finger in our direction fairly rapidly. Then of course we lack some of the dexterity of a human and burying the body might prove difficult. Dogs that are friendly are often said to be more likely to lick someone to death, but I’m wondering if that is actually possible. I suppose we could knock them over so that they hit their head on the ground, but that wouldn’t be a guaranteed method. To be fair, we aren’t described as man’s best friend for nothing. It’s not really likely that we would be involved in the murder process.

I’d just like to point out that this thought is not linked to the previous paragraph on murder. I have found myself feeling a little bit jealous that my Mistress is currently with another dog. Now I know she would love me to be there too, but that doesn’t make the whole thing feel any easier. I know Megan won’t replace me in my Mistress’s affections. I’ve been able to see that fairly clearly from the arrival of Shadow, but I also know that being given the name Megan she is a very honoured dog. I hope I like her. We’re going to be spending an awful lot of time together over the coming years. I’d like to think she’s as special as my Mistress will think too. I might even let her share the spot on my Mistress’s feet at the foot of the bed.