Monday 21st July 2008

The recycling situation is becoming more like Belgium every day. My Mistress has now obtained a ‘blue bag’ this can be put out with the ‘blue box’ and the ‘grey bin’. These are not to be confused with the ‘green bin’. The blue bag is for paper but not cardboard and envelopes but not window envelopes. I am quite surprised that they have not get got as far as specifying exactly which weights of paper can be included!

I am starting to conclude that nowhere is safe. My Mistress should never have been allowed to go to a session for writers of crime fiction on ideas for weapons from everyday objects. It’s all very well her reassuring me it is purely about ideas to be used in a fictional capacity only; I chase rabbits in a fictional capacity and the only thing stopping me doing it in practice is ‘opportunity’.

If that wasn’t bad enough I asked her about all the red signs we see around here. Oh that’s ok then, they are just army bases and airforce bases. I’m starting to think that in the event of any sort of hostility I’d like to be anywhere other than where I am. Do you think that the Pet Dogs Democratic Party could declare independence and neutrality on the part of our village and demand a fifty mile exclusion zone for any sort of combat or military activity? I’d prefer the exclusion zone to be 250 miles but I think I might be pushing my luck on that one and I might have taken over a few other countries in the process. Perhaps it would be better if politics were left to dogs. We could mark all our new country boundaries by peeing on the lamp posts.