Friday 25th January 2008

Boxes, boxes and more boxes, oh and a suicidal blender too. There it was in my mistress’s hands, there was the box on the side for it to go into and it simply said, “No. I’m a Belgian blender. You can’t make me leave my homeland.” And with that it jumped and crashed to the floor. It was all rather tragic really. It’s buttons were all caved in and basically there was no point in sending for the paramedics. It’s gone off to Blender Heaven, or the Containerpark as the tip is known here.

It might be possible to accuse me of a touch of paranoia, but I have got to the point where I don’t want to let my mistress out of my sight in case she goes without me. I know what you’re thinking, she would never do that, but you can never be too sure. The move might have unhinged here. Either that or the discussion with my master over whether they are going to make do with terrestrial television or get cable. My poor master was made to prepare a full business justification for the package of television channels he was proposing. In addition to this he was questioned on the number of hours a week it was reasonable for him to spend in front of it. With the proviso that there were certain rooms in the house that would remain television free, my mistress has let him think she has conceded. In reality she had already worked out what was the best package for them but this way she got the additional guarantees. She is not as stupid as she looks. As I said to her the other day, that really is a blessing, who wants to be that stupid?