Thursday 20th December 2007

I may be a Belgian dog, but I am a long way from understanding the country in which I live. Apparently, we haven’t had a government for six months. It isn’t that there aren’t any politicians, it’s just that they don’t seem to want to work together. It’s fairly obvious if you go to Brussels as everyone is flying the Belgian flag in protest. Sad to say, outside of Brussels no one has actually noticed. Now you may remember that I applied to be England’s Football Manager a few weeks ago and it seems that my application was unsuccessful. I can’t understand why as they went on to appoint someone who doesn’t even speak English, but I’m not going to bear any grudges. I can only presume that despite my plea, the fact that I will be living near Middlesbrough has influenced their choice. Anyway, I now see that it all happened for a reason. Clearly, I am destined to be the Prime Minister of Belgium, with the political parties rallying behind me their leader. As you will know, the Pet Dogs Democratic Party has been developing its policies for some while and is now ready to move towards world domination. Given that the EU is run from Brussels, I can see no good reason why the Belgian people should object to their country being run from a village in North Yorkshire. I am Belgian by birth and to avoid any accusation of favouritism I can’t speak either French or Flemish. If not speaking the language is good enough for the manager of England’s football team it is good enough for anyone, although to be fair he has said he will learn English in a month and I really cannot commit to any such rash promises. To be fair I think politics is more about avoiding the question than about making any commitment.