Monday 26th November 2007

Alfie looking all gentle and sleepy

I have seen pictures of places like Stonehenge and it is leading me to draw a very worrying conclusion. Our moles are digging a perfect circle of holes and I can only assume they are preparing to celebrate the winter solstice. The main cause for alarm is that from what I can gather there are many hundreds of people that make the pilgrimage to  Stonehenge, what if hundreds of moles are going to descend on our garden in December? What are we going to do then? I am also concerned about what action they may take against me if I try to stop them. One dog against one or two moles is not a bad ratio. However, given that I am a coward, what are my chances against the massed ranks of winter solstice worshippers?

On another very sad and worrying note, I had a sleepless night last night thinking about my woodland friends. We couldn’t go for a walk in the woods yesterday because we could hear shooting. I asked my mistress what they were shooting at and when she told me I was absolutely beside myself. I don’t mind so much if it is the pheasants, I’m not particularly friends with them and have in fact offered to try and bring one home for tea. It’s the deer I am worried about. I like the deer. We haven’t seen much of them recently and I can only hope that is because they have taken temporary lodging somewhere else or gone into hiding. I couldn’t bare to think they were being shot. I would make a stand against it, but going back to the point I made earlier, I’m afraid I will have to be a conscientious objector on the grounds of cowardice rather than pacifism. If I can’t take on a couple of hundred moles, I have no intention of facing any guns.