Thursday 12th July 2007

I have been looking at the details of the hotels I shall be staying in when I go on holiday later in the year. They seem to say we are booked in for bed and breakfast and that is fine by me. I wonder what I shall be able to select for breakfast. I do like Frosties in the morning, I got that from my mistress. I am very partial to bacon too, so ideally I would like a full cooked English breakfast, but I am not sure whether you get that in France. I like Parma ham too, so I am prepared to compromise. I’m hoping they might do me my own little dog height table and then come and tuck a crisp white serviette into my collar so that I don’t spill anything on my fur. I suppose I ought to try and learn some French so that I can ask for what I want more easily. I can say good morning, please and thank you, but I am not sure of the important things such as how to ask for more bacon.

My mistress has been buying odd things again, odd from the perspective of a balanced dog, possibly not so odd for my mistress. She has bought a sculpture of a gingerbread man. Why not just make the real thing, was my suggestion. I could have helped her eat it. I think it is a ‘woman thing’. The sculpture is called ‘Facts of Life’ and as my mistress explained to me the gingerbread man is holding a little gingerbread cookie cutter in its outstretched hand, because that is where gingerbread men come from. It is safe to say, I shall never understand the way the mind of a woman works! But then, I don’t suppose my mistress fully understands how my mind works either, I can’t decide whether I want to try and eat it or pee on it! That’s dogs for you.