Thursday 2nd November 2006

It was an odd sort of a day yesterday; it was one of those Belgian midweek bank holidays. The sort of day when you expect things to happen and nothing does. No one drives past the end of the garden to work, the postman doesn’t come, there is no point going to the shops and my master worked from home so as not to get lonely.

I am distraught. Do my master and mistress not love me? Have I done something wrong? Am I not their beloved puppy? What shall I do? You may wonder what is so dreadful that I am so beside myself. In less than two weeks it will be my first birthday. I thought I would like to spend it being waited on paw and paw, showered with gifts and having my every whim pandered to. What I had not expected was to find that my mistress will be in London, my master in Manchester and me staying with my dog-sitter. What have I done to deserve this? I can’t imagine the other dogs will be prepared to spoil me on my birthday. My mistress says she will simply delay my birthday celebrations by a couple of days but it really is not acceptable, unless of course I am going to get lots of extra presents to make up for it.

What does it mean when it says on the news that an oil-rig is in ‘controlled drift’ in the North Sea? Now I realise I am only a dog but even from my perspective any sort of drifting oil-rig is a bit of a cause for concern and adding the word ‘controlled’ doesn’t make it ok. It isn’t the sort of thing you expect to find gently bobbing back and forth, they don’t really look designed for that. I did wonder whether it was a bit like me on my lead, having broken free of its tug it was trying to see if it could make a run for it before it got caught.