Monday 28th August 2006

My mistress and Helen went next door for a ‘girls’ night’ last night. I want to know what happens but they said I wasn’t a girl. We stayed here and had a ‘boys’ night’ to be honest it felt like any other night but without the girls! I had a good sniff of them both when they came back to see if I could work out anymore of what I had missed. It turns out they had been stroking Matilda the cat but then I suppose she is a girl.

Now I am a dog, and I am expected to eat everything I can get my mouth round. In fairness I do tend to be a bit more choosy that many of my species and I have never eaten anything that I shouldn’t that really mattered. I eat the odd root, purely for medicinal purposes you understand and maybe the odd slug now and again. All this just adds to the fact that yesterday I was completely confused, as was almost everyone else as to why a four year old boy would choose to swallow a magnetic ball bearing. Fortunately they are relatively small and round and highly unlikely to get stuck but all in all you have to think it isn’t the brightest idea. My mistress found a bit on the internet about the sort of things children swallow and when to seek medical advice, just to calm my master down, and actually found it really made quite amusing reading. At the end of the day you really do have to ask yourself the question why? To be honest coming from a dog that may sound a bit rich, but I’m not just any dog!