Wednesday 12th April 2006

Life is so unfair. My master and mistress sat us all down and told us they are getting married. It is so exciting and we all thought it was great. There are four of us, one gets to be bridesmaid, one gets to be ring bearer, one gets to be page boy and then there’s me. I don’t even get to go. Me, their only dog and I don’t even get to go to their wedding. I am distressed, wounded, forlorn. Oh woe is me. I would have looked good with a little barrel round my neck carrying the rings. I could carry the back of the dress in my mouth to keep it off the ground, I could hold the bouquet. I could even do all three if they asked nicely. How can they think to leave me out. So my passport will not be valid for England, they could delay the wedding and wait for me. I bet they won’t even bring me back any cake.

The other seriously worrying thing that has happened is that the woodpecker has discovered the bird table. Now whilst I am more than happy to welcome him to join the early breakfast sitting, being one of the few meal times with spare places, he seems intent on chopping the bird table down and is pecking away at the centre pole that supports it. I am starting to wonder whether he has had a disagreement with the other garden birds and is now trying to spoil it for all of them.

My normal schedule seems to be utterly disrupted this week. I am used to having one nice long walk each day and a good chance to sleep afterwards. At the age of nearly five months old I am quite content to walk three or four kilometres after lunch. Unfortunately one of my companions for the week hasn’t achieved such levels of accomplishment and despite being four whole years old can’t walk nearly so far. This means I have to pace myself and have a number of small walks instead, it really disrupts my napping pattern. More to the point I am really annoyed that I didn’t think of the ‘I want a carry’ line when I was tired rather than faithfully plod on next to my mistress. It would have saved so much effort. It is a bit late now that my mistress knows I can walk that far and besides which I have got too heavy for her to carry. There are times it seems I still have so much to learn. Clearly my lesson today is that if you are too helpful then people take advantage of your good nature. So there goes my offering to cook dinner tonight.