Friday 10th February 2006

Well diary I’m not prone to jealousy but I am starting to lose sympathy with Charlie. Firstly he gets to sit on my mistress’s knee while she is working and I don’t. She tried saying it is because I don’t fit on her knee quite so easily now. That’s a fair point and it may be true, but I am not happy about the principle of it. I demand an equal right to sit on her knee. The master laughed when he heard me say that, he thinks I’ve been spending too much time with my mistress and am starting to sound like her. What has really upset me though is that when I moved in we had a long discussion about the fact that I was not going to sleep in their bedroom. We also had a long discussion about the fact that I was not going on the settee, but I won that one!  Fair enough, I don’t mind too much, I have my own room and I can leave it as messy as I like, which is more than can be said for the master! However, what I am not happy about is that Charlie, the same bear that I was so concerned for, that I was thinking of launching a rescue mission, told me that he does get to sleep in their bedroom. I am not happy about this at all. As far as I’m concerned, microwave or no microwave, Charlie is on his own.

Well diary, I have worked out the nationality of the birds in our garden. There are many different varieties but I think they all come from the same place. You might wonder how I have arrived at my conclusion. Have I for example been reading up on the migratory habits of the robin? Have I studied the direction of the flight path of the nuthatch? No, it has been much less scientific than that. It has all been a simple matter of observation and deduction. I have been watching from my vantage point in the office and notice that they all form an orderly queue along the hedge waiting for their turn on the bird table. They queue up even when there isn’t anything on the bird table. Well it’s obvious isn’t it, behaviour like that they must be British!

My deductions regarding the birds have made me start wondering whether I should consider a career as a detective. I could use my inspired thinking together with my ability to track a scent, there would be no stopping me. ‘Alfie Puppy from the CID’ sounds quite good doesn’t it, and I am sure it would impress all the girl puppies.