Friday 25th March 2011

We are the curse of handymen. If you are a handyman and my Mistress rings you about a job, then hang up. Do not answer the phone. Tell her you’re out. Anything, but don’t tell her you will come to do a job at our house. Since we have lived here, which is only a year, we have been through quite a number of handymen. The first was going to come to do some work, but hurt his back and was off work for a while. We waited for him to come back, but in the end he thought it better we find someone else. The second one was booked and due to come, but he hurt his shoulder and once again decided we should find someone else. The third one was booked for a different job completely. He agreed to come. Then we didn’t hear from him so we rang and left a message and he didn’t ring back. Now handyman number four has left a message on the answer machine saying he is the replacement for handyman number three, who has given up doing handy work altogether. In the interests of your future, handyman number four, we will not be ringing you back. It isn’t personal, it’s just that there are only so many handymen you can finish off before you think it’s time to stop. We’ve spent the money on our own double ladder and will be attempting to put the blinds up at James’s velux windows, high up in the roof, ourselves. Given what happened the last time my Master did any DIY then my Mistress is unconvinced by this solution but doesn’t know what else to do. If truth be known, we rather miss having the builders around and all the things they could do for us.