Did I want to play tennis? Well what do you think? I was never very good at cornering as a puppy and I haven’t improved with age. On top of that I’ve never found the grip on a tennis racket all that comfortable in my paw. Nor for that matter have I ever worked out whether I am right or left pawed and whether I am better with a two-paw backhand. So, basically in the end I let them all play without me. I offered to umpire but after the third call of ‘out’ and appeals against my decisions because the players thought I was napping, I’d had about enough and left them all to it. Then the audacity of it, they asked if I’d be a ball-dog and go running after all the balls they hit in the wrong direction. Do I look that stupid? A straight choice between running round retrieving tennis balls, some of which have gone over the fence into the neighbouring woodland, or finding a nice quiet spot in which to have a pleasant doze. It may surprise you to know I chose the doze.
You really do have to laugh. After the tennis they actually came and asked whether I wanted to go in a rowing boat. Can they not remember the last time I went on a boat? I don’t like water – being surrounded by it is never going to be an attractive option and before you start, I know I live on an island and am therefore technically always surrounded by water but I can’t see as far as that. I live a good way inland and long may that continue. Fortunately I was able to say that I hadn’t remembered to bring my life-jacket with me and if it was all the same to them I thought maybe I’d stick with the nap.