Thursday 17th June 2010

As things turned out we didn’t go home until the afternoon yesterday. My Mistress had picked up a throat infection and wasn’t feeling very well. It’s good to be back with her and snuggled up. She isn’t a pretty sight at the moment. She has a big cut as though someone has tried to slit her throat which is held together with things that look like staples. She’s having the staples out today so she is hoping to look a little less like Frankenstein’s monster afterwards. She made me laugh with the letter that she wrote while she was in hospital and not able to sleep. I don’t think she is actually planning to send it to anyone but this is what she put.

Dear NHS
THank you for my lovely stay in hospital. It really was all those little extra touches that made it so memorable.

I particularly enjoyed the opportunity to walk half the length of the hospital in nothing but a rather fetching gown and surgical stockings, in order to get to the operating theatre.

I did enjoy the humour of being able to watch the tobacco addicts wheeling their drips out of the front door to the roadside in order to get round your no-smoking policy.

I though the installation of loudly ticking clocks and toilet door that couldn’t help but wake the whole ward were a god send to aid the the use of insomnia as a recovery technique. All you needed was a cuckoo clock so that I knew exactly which hour is was that I was still awake.

And as for positioning me opposite someone who had had a procedure which left them farting loudly in their sleep throughout the night, well I just can’t thank you enough.

Yours sincerely

A tired patient.