Sunday 10th January 2010

For all those clever people who are saying that the current cold spell disproves global warming, I’m sorry to have to disappoint you. In case you hadn’t noticed parts of Canada are further south than we are and you don’t think anything of them having a harsh winter. It is only the Gulf Stream that stops it being like this every winter. Now, if you’ve been listening to those talking about global warming, you may have realised that there is a risk of the Gulf Stream diverting in a different direction and at the moment that seems to be exactly what is happening, so much for the English Riviera benefitting from above the expected temperatures. I’m guessing a set of snow tyres wouldn’t look such a ridiculous purchase now.

The United Kingdom is so badly prepared for any sort of extreme. That’s the problem when we are used to such a mild temperate climate. We haven’t been ready for the flooding, we are completely unable to function in hot weather and now we’ve proved our inability to cope with cold. Other countries have air-conditioning, underground shopping centres, snow ploughs, more grit, snow chains and tyres and skis. We have, well I’m struggling to come up with a list. We don’t even seem to have enough gas supplies for everyone to stay warm and keep working. Mind you, it makes our solar panel look a little bit of a waste of time!

Once I am elected as Prime Minister, I will make it compulsory for cars to use winter tyres between November and February. I will certainly encourage training sessions for family dogs in sled pulling for rural areas and will make cross country skiing part of the national curriculum. I will also launch a national snowperson and snowdog building contest, just because it would be fun.