Saturday 1st November 2008

A ‘Star Wars Clone’, a vampire boy and my Mistress went out into the night without me last night. To be fair, I took one look at them and said ‘You have got to be joking?’, but clearly it seems they weren’t. On reflection, I think the kids managed the perfect wheeze. They got my Mistress to buy a very large tub of sweets, but then made her take them out at the time anyone was likely to call. This meant that not only could they collect sweets from other gullible people, but they came home to eat all the ones my Mistress bought as well.

They say home is where the heart is, so what do you do if you leave a little bit of your heart somewhere else? Does that mean you end up with lots of places to call home or that nowhere is ever quite completely home again? It all started with my Mistress being in a reflective mood and telling me about all the places she has been where she has left a little bit of her heart. It all sounded a bit negligent until I started to think about Belgium and the bit of my heart I left there. So we snuggled up together and tried to console each other. She told me that these were the sort of moments that ice cream and chocolate were made for, except she can’t eat ice cream or chocolate so as far as I can see that simply compounds the problem. I offered to eat a dog biscuit or two to help out, but she didn’t think that was a good idea. I thought I might have pushed the idea too far when she suggested that we should both get more exercise and slim down a little bit. How is a diet ever going to help in getting the bits of heart back?