Tuesday 7th October 2008

I’m afraid it was the last straw. My Mistress has refused to take me to group dog training until my behaviour has improved. I tried arguing that it isn’t going to improve unless I have the chance to be around other dogs. She has pointed out that being around other dogs has made it do everything but improve and in fairness she has a point. I will be seeing other dogs but in a more controlled manner and in smaller groupings. She also intends to find me my own personal dog trainer. I asked if it was like when women go to the gym and get a good looking bloke to train them. If it is then I want to be trained by very good looking girl dog who will flatter me incessantly. Failing the good looking dog to pander to my every whim, I need to get myself back in favour as quickly as I possibly can.

As a fellow political leader, I feel I must comment on Boris Johnson and not just because he has the hair of an untrimmed Tibetan Terrier. There are ways in which I admire his total disregard for protocol. It isn’t that he is a power seeking megalomaniac, though of course that may be the case, it is simply that he sees what he thinks needs doing and brazenly gets on with it, heedless of what others may think. I am contemplating adopting the same approach for the Pet Dogs Democratic Party.  I wonder whether he’d be prepared to team up with me on some joint initiatives if I dropped him a line. I suppose he might be the wrong party to support our ‘minimum wage for working dogs’ campaign, but he could easily put his name to ‘every dog must have his say’.