Tuesday 5th August 2008

Why would someone with vertigo go on a holiday on a boat? I maybe a dog and my views on the world may not count for much, but why if you have problems with motion and balance would you choose to spend two weeks on a constantly moving object? Even when my Mistress gets off the boat she still feels as though she’s moving. Mind you I don’t get vertigo and I feel as though all my legs are different lengths when I finally get to a bank. It’s all very well, but it’s no laughing matter when you cock one leg and can’t balance on the remaining three. I’m clearly not cut out for a career as a sailor.

Now I know I’ve got my brand new lifejacket but what happens if we hit an iceberg? We don’t have a life raft. It’s all well and good my Mistress saying she’ll rescue me but have you ever tried dragging the sodden weight of a dog that can’t swim out of the water? My Master says if it came to it, I would be able to swim. All dogs can, so he says. My Mistress on the other paw simply says there aren’t any icebergs on the Norfolk Broads. My point is what if there are and she just doesn’t know about them?