Monday 14th January 2008

I’m starting to get excited about my mistress coming home. I just hope she is a bit more organised coming back than she was going. For a start, she forgot her keys and then she found she had forgotten some important paperwork. Fortunately, the key didn’t end up being a problem and as far as the paperwork was concerned the Belgian ‘bus pass principle’ applied. This is the phenomena by which in the absence of any relevant paperwork, presentation of a bus pass or valid library card seems suffice.  It is a feature of Belgian life but it is the first time my mistress has experienced it in England. She was more than a little relieved.

My mistress has now almost completely recovered from her argument with a cacti. It was part of the transporting of the houseplants to England. I offered to nibble them all beyond recognition but this was not the preferred means of disposal, much to my master’s disappointment. He doesn’t like the house plants and has suggested that some of them are left behind. My mistress will not even discuss his proposal, she said it would be like leaving me. At this point I took offence as I had rather thought I was higher up the chain of command than a mere house plant. Anyway, back to the cacti. My mistress tried to put the plants she was taking into bags to make them easier to transport. The cacti refused to go into the bag claiming it was inhumane and then fought her all the way. My mistress has been digging the spines out of her fingers ever since. Quite honestly in a fight between a cacti and my mistress it is a tough call which one to back. She might not have the prickly spines, although some would debate the point, but she has the determination not to be beaten, whatever the consequences. For punishment the cacti has to stay in its bag until it reaches its final destination. It will think twice about attacking my mistress in the future after that.