Monday 24th December 2007

I’ve got the brandy and the mince pie out ready to leave for Santa later. I’ve told my mistress that she mustn’t have a log fire tonight as I don’t want Santa to singe the presents when he comes down the chimney. I said I was going to stay up to wait for him, but my mistress says he won’t come if I do that. It is very exciting being old enough to understand what is going on this year. My paternal grandparents are arriving later, you don’t suppose my granddad is Santa do you? I suppose he can’t be as he hasn’t got a beard and to be honest I don’t’ think he would fancy coming down the chimney when he could come through the front door. True to form, not every parcel that my mistress ordered to be sent by post has been delivered. I said she should have ordered extra ones so that it wouldn’t matter if one or two didn’t arrive in time. Perhaps she will try that approach next year.

Oddly, our fridge, which is usually full of nice things, is stuffed full of vegetables. I have never seen so many, except in adverts for supermarkets. I might set up a little stall at the end of the drive to see if I can make a bit of money from people who have forgotten to buy things. I could charge over-inflated prices to supplement my pocket money. Our turkey is legless, it’s also strangely deformed in as much as it seems to have three breasts. I asked if that was how they bred them in Belgium but my mistress assured me it was all a question of practicality. “Not for the poor turkey,” I said.

I’m going to have a good sleep this afternoon, just in case I can’t sleep tonight for the excitement.