Thursday 13th December 2007

Just to prove the whole dressing gown thing. The doorbell rang yesterday, except it wasn’t the one in the house it was the one at the postbox at the end of the drive. My mistress, expecting a parcel, went rushing out in her dressing gown, only to find the gate by the front door frozen shut. She then ran across the frozen grass to the other gate, which is just tied up with string, undid the string and ran up the drive. All quite a spectacle for the neighbourhood really, particularly considering the postman had actually given up and gone by the time she got there. I was ready with a little sign, scoring her 4 out of a possible 10 marks for her performance. I said to her, had she vaulted the first gate, she would definitely have got a higher score.

Despite the sub-zero temperatures, the moles are still digging, we are back up to 15 visible holes and counting. I think we’ve got ‘Super Moles’ a whole new breed, designed to withstand all forms of cold and deterrent. Perhaps we should patent them and see if anyone wants to buy a few. Nature seems to have gone a little dotty round here. There is a cockerel that I can only assume uses an alarm clock, to keep his crowing regular. It was 5.30 this morning and pitch dark when he decided to announce breakfast. I only know this because I had had to get my mistress to get up to let me out for the toilet, so we were both stood outside when he crowed. My mistress wasn’t too keen to be standing outside in the freezing cold at that hour, but I’ve said that until she is prepared to provide me with an inside toilet, I’m just going to have to insist she suffers the same vagaries of the weather that I have to.