The first four times were not my fault. OK so I might have been responsible for the fifth time. Having gone to bed early on Saturday night, because they were tired, my master and mistress were woken by the phone at 11.30pm, 12pm, 1.10am and 1.15am. My mistress really doesn’t cope very well with being woken and always has problems going back to sleep. I didn’t mean to pick the same night to be sick. I had eaten one too many weeds from the garden. It’s a mistake any dog could make. I did leave it until 6.50am to do my bit but then it was a morning they weren’t planning to be woken early, particularly after the phone ringing the night before. It didn’t help matters that I misunderstood when my mistress jumped out of bed and said “Not there” that she didn’t mean just not on her bedside rug and she was trying to steer me towards the wooden floor as it would be easier to clean. I took ‘not there’ to mean not that particular rug, so I threw up on the one in the bathroom instead. Hey, it washed ok, in the end. It wasn’t deliberate.
In an attempt to deter our tunnelling visitors we have installed a ‘solar mole repellent’. It gives out sonic waves, which the moles avoid. Firstly, we have to hope that it works better than the solar lights, which don’t give enough light for the moles to tunnel by, let alone to see anything. Secondly, I am fully prepared for a little circle of holes appearing around the circumference of the wave. I can see them now, with their little shovels at the ready. We are now also likely to be blamed for the sudden arrival of moles in our neighbours gardens, as they seek refuge from the sonic booms in ours!