Saturday 17th June 2006

Well I went with Harry and Nicole to look at the three possible sites for the Woodland Community Centre yesterday. I probably wasn’t as helpful as I should have been, I was too busy thinking about wanting it to be easy for me to get to and still be part of. In reality the decision is very easy, the larger site that is over in the next wood is so much better than the smaller options. Despite my trying to point things out such as ‘This one gets more light’ and ‘This one would be so convenient for our current members’ even I knew that the two nearby sites were not the right ones. Nicole told me to stop being so selfish so I sulked for the afternoon and just trudged round sullenly behind them. Harry promised that I could still be part of it and that I could still go and see him whenever I wanted but it was one of those moments when you just know that maybe it’s time to move on. I’m not even sure I can work up the enthusiasm for my den anymore either.

I was listening to the radio and half heard a piece where they were talking about some sport and referring to the ‘Open men’s semi-final’. I was wondering why they would have a competition especially for open men. Is it for men that aren’t afraid to show their emotion? Is it one of those things that means it is ok for them to cry if they lose? Is there also a competition for ‘closed men’?

I still haven’t put a toe in the water on the swimming front. I’m not pretending I’m not tempted when the children are throwing a ball from one end to the other, and one of these days I might just go after it and forget there is nothing underneath me except wet. If that happens I can imagine it being a bit like one of those cartoons where the animal runs off the cliff and gets quite a long way before looking down and realising there is nothing underneath them and only then falling to the ground. In my case it would be when I looked down that you would hear a great splash. A bit like the other day when I jumped to try and catch the frisbee and forgot to put my legs down to land and sort of ‘thudded’ onto the ground. At least if I land on water it might be a slightly softer landing but probably just as much of a shock. There is always the possibility that I would like it but I’m not that keen to find out, not unless some mud is added first.