Friday 17th March 2006

The magpies came by this morning and dropped off a letter from hedgehog with a visiting permit. It was really funny because they were moaning that the last thing they would want to steal was a visiting permit for the forest prison, they spend all their time trying to keep out and make sure that police badger doesn’t arrest them for all their other crimes. Hedgehog says he has absolutely no idea why I should want to bother visiting him, but if I insist I can go and see him tomorrow. Apparently I just follow the darkest direction into the wood and I can’t go far wrong. I asked James if he would walk with me but he said I had to be joking. He seems to think I might meet a tiger but I am sure the mistress said we don’t get tigers in Belgium, I did see a picture of a wild boar though so I might need to be a little bit careful. Although she doesn’t actually know where I am going tomorrow, when I asked about the wild boars the mistress said if I do manage to find a wild boar could I bring it back for tea. Why would she want to give a wild boar some tea? Sometimes she is very odd, she said the same thing about the pheasant that came into the garden the other day.

One very exciting thing that has happened this week is that at long last my mistress has sorted out my email account. I can now be emailed at alfie@alfiedog.me.uk I just hope that someone writes to me as it will be very sad to have an email account to check every day and find there is nothing in it. I wonder if there is much spam that is directed at dogs? I know you get all sorts of spam that I may not understand and I am sure I have had enough of being prodded by the vet to want to try any surgery I don’t actually need, perhaps I will get the mistress to explain them too me.

It was really funny yesterday, James and the master were taking me for a walk in the forest and the mistress was supposed to be getting tea. It was getting dark and we were on our way home when I heard a voice calling me from the middle of the forest. My first thought was that it was the deer, so I went a little way towards it but it was quite dark so I waited and it called again. I suddenly realised it was the mistress so went rushing to see her to find that after we had come out she missed me so came out to look for us but couldn’t find us and was just standing in the forest as it was getting dark wondering what to do next. It’s a good job I found her, she might have been there all night.