Sunday 19th February 2006

I was wondering if boredom is a bad thing or whether it is just nature’s mechanism to stop you wasting time. I then spent an hour gazing out of the window at nothing in particular and wondered what it would be like to get bored. This tired me out rather, so I had a nap.

I still need a good idea for a career. I did wonder if I could be an actor, like Lassie or Benji although that involves a bit more moving about than I feel like today. I need more of a Bagpuss type role although in my more energetic moments I am more like the mice on the mouse organ. It would be no good being a ‘bit part’, I want to be the hero of the movie, suave, sophisticated, brave and lavished with praise and dog biscuits. I see myself as a dashing and brave knight coming to the rescue of a poor maiden, like squirrel, who would throw herself into my paws and declare her undying love. You can see the name of the film up in lights ‘Alfie the Wonder Dog’, the applause, the accolades, Best Film, Best Leading Actor and me at the Awards nights, walking up the red carpet and cocking my leg nonchalantly against the large pot plant in the hotel foyer (and hopefully by then not unbalancing myself and falling over in the process). Ah, every dog must have his dreams.

When I have built up enough energy I think I might build a den in the woods. I would build a tree house but my mistress has totally refused to carry me up a rope ladder, she says if I keep growing at this rate I will need to learn to walk up stairs on my own. I can climb up six steps but then I’m stuck, I can’t reverse down them, I can’t work out how to go down forwards and I can’t jump that far, so I’m guessing a rope ladder may be just a bit much. I was wondering if I could get some rope to construct a sort of pulley system over one of the branches and then I either need to persuade my mistress to be on the other end of the rope to pull me up and lower me when I want or I need to find some other animals to play with, maybe I could invite some of the other puppies from my puppy class round to play.