Our Mistress has finally done it. She has discovered the perfect formula for driving one of us insane. Admittedly, it’s Alfie who was slightly on the way there in the first place, but still her methods certainly seem to work. First get your dog up when he needs to go out at 5am. Then put him in the kitchen where he normally goes back to sleep for an hour and a half. Sounds easy really. However, the key ingredient in the process is to make sure the battery in the smoke alarm needs replacing and that it will give out an ear-splitting noise every few minutes during that two hours. By the time you return to your dog, who will unusually not have started barking for his breakfast at 6.30am, he will not want to eat, will want to leave the room, need the toilet and stand there looking mournfully at you. At that point our Mistress started to feel a little bad about the situation. She immediately changed the battery, gave him a cuddle and took him out to the toilet, but Alfie is a sensitive soul and he was very clingy and miserable for the rest of the morning. He spent the next couple of hours snuggled very close to her, sleeping to make up for the lost sleep earlier and trying to regain his confidence to trust the kitchen not to be mean to him anymore. You would think after all these years he would be used to her setting off the smoke alarm whenever she cooks. To be fair on Friday, it wasn’t actually her cooking so much as our Master putting the wooden spoon on the cooking ring and setting fire to it, but that’s another story and really just a cry for help from him that he should not have to be in the kitchen.
Let’s hope that things calm down and we don’t have any more alarms.
Have a happy Sunday
Aristotle
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